


Marvel One-Shots

by Jubilation_Lee



Category: Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Humor, Multi, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4459010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilation_Lee/pseuds/Jubilation_Lee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is to be a series of one-shots that have no timeline or reason, they are meant for the sole purpose of i thought they were fun.<br/>Each one shot is based off of a picture that i have found.<br/>Memo's from Fury<br/>Bland Marvel Head-cannons<br/>Tumblr posts<br/>and many other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Halloween Party

“Regarding the upcoming Halloween party, Loki is to be reminded that bobbing for apples is a time-honored tradition that does not require modification. Specifically, the apples do not need a ‘sporting chance’ and should not be enchanted to bite back.”

Loki sat in his new quarters on the helicarrier and scowled as he read the new memo that had been put out by Fury. “I do not understand why not. It would be rather humorous.” The God of Mischief grumbled as he tossed the memo into a small trash by the nightstand.  

He sighed with a bit of frustration. It seemed that Fury was bent on not letting him have any fun on the helicarrier. Loki had been given very strict rules that were constantly being rewritten as he always seemed to find a way around them and most of the time talked his way out of trouble with his famous ‘Silvertongue’. His magic had been restricted quite a bit since he had come to Midgard to stay but he found ways around that as well.

The Halloween party was the next day and he had been planning several pranks since he had found out about it. He chuckled when he remembered the look on the poor agents face when the girl had let the information slip in his presence. She was rather terrified when he gave her the equivalent of a cheshire cat grin.

He pulled a spellbook from underneath the mattress. Not many knew he had it and the few that did kept their mouths shut. Sigyn had become his go to person when it came to getting things he was not suppose to have. Things such as his spell books, weapons and enchanted items. besides him she was the only one who knew the secret paths between realms and that became useful when he needed things from Asgard.

He flipped through the old pages until he reached the enchantments. There wasn't anything specific that said anything about enchanting apples to bite back but he knew how to twist a spell to get the result he wanted.

Reading through the enchantment spells he was careful not to mutter the ancient language for if he did he would surely be caught. That was the last thing he needed. Fury coming in here demanding why he was using magic, what for, and how, Then his room would be searched and all of the items he has acquired would be confiscated and he would be watched more closely. “Can’t have that now.” he muttered.

Finding the spell he needed he closed the spell book and gathered the few magical items he kept in his room and put out the signal he uses to contact Sigyn discretely. He needed a plan, well a more complete plan he already had part of a plan, (12% of a plan to be exact). To even begin anything he needed Sigyn to come and take anything SHIELD would confiscate. After he was sure the signal was well placed he left his room. Sigyn knew where everything was and what to do so he needn't stay to guide her.

He made his way from corridor to corridor avoiding as many agents as possible in his passing and many of them avoiding him as well. He gave a chuckle as agents avoided eye contact with him.

Making his way to the outside of the helicarrier he smiled as he felt the familiar magic of Sigyn nearby and now it was time for a bit of fun. He gracefully outstretched his fingers as his more harmless magic created a few minor illusions merely as a distraction to allow Sigyn to get in and out as quickly as possible, but as it seemed this time the simple illusions created unwanted attention from a couple of assassins that Loki almost desperately tried to avoid.

It started pleasant enough as his snake illusions slithered their way through the halls emitting screams from several of the agents passing by who, even though Loki had been living on the Helicarrier for over two years now, still were not used to Loki’s antics. Loki had a rather satisfied grin on his face that was until an arrow whizzed by passing dangerously close to his face. The smile vanished as he quickly waved away the illusions and tried to find where the Hawk hid. Loki looked up and saw the man move to shoot another arrow and cursed. keeping his eyes on the Hawk he began to back down the hallway not wanting be caught off guard by the arrow-man. As he backed down the hallway he bumped into someone and despite himself he jumped and whirled around ready to lay his wrath upon whoever bumped into him (although it was clearly his fault he would not admit it). But that is not what happened. He saw a flash of red and before he knew it he was on the ground his breath leaving him as his back slammed onto the floor. He looked up at his assailant masking his physical pain with a glare as he looked straight into the sharp green eyes of the Black Widow.

He took a moment to find his breath. “Agent Romanoff do you attack all of the guests on the helicarrier or is that just a privilege you save for me?” He asked propping himself on his elbows looking at her. He knew his sarcastic comments would get him nowhere but he couldn’t help it. He could either be a smart ass or he could lash out in anger. This seemed to be the lesser of the two evils at the moment.

He stiffened as the Hawk who had come out of his ‘Nest’ had a drawn arrow dangerously close to his face. “Agent Barton. Good to see you out of your nest.” Loki said his voice dripping with unbelievable amounts of sarcasm.

“Agent Barton stand down. I know he is irritating but I would rather not deal with Thor if you kill him.” Fury’s voice came from down the hall. He was making his way towards the group. Loki let out a sigh of relief when the Hawk lowered the arrow. Loki cautiously pulled himself to his feet and flashed a smile at the director as he stopped in front of him.

“Director Fury i have a complaint about your agents.” Loki said making Fury raise an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” Director Fury asked crossing his arms with irritation as the God gave a rather hurt look.

“Yes. I was having a bit of harmless fun with a few…” Loki paused searching for the right word. “Innocent illusions.” he decided on. “And Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff attacked me. I am the last person to try and cause trouble…” The Hawk gave a snort at the comment and The Spider rolled her eyes. “...but i feel rather unsafe due to their rash actions.” Loki finished as if he didn’t hear the two assassins. He gave a rather nervous look to the two assassins.

“Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton, i am giving you orders to leave Loki alone until further notice.” Fury said. Loki smirked inwardly seeing the two assassins look at Fury as if he had grown another head. “This is not because he asked but because i need you two elsewhere and not watching Loki waiting for him to screw up. I need my top agents focused.” Fury said and the two agents still fuming left the premises.

Loki gave Fury a nod of gratitude. This was a genuine gesture because he honestly appreciated having the assassins off his back even if it was just temporary. Loki made his way back to his room making an attempt not to limp on the way there as the Spider had kicked his knee in and yes it hurt.

Arriving back at his room he made sure that Sigyn didn't miss anything then sat on his bed. A plan began to form in his mind for revenge against the assassins and as he plotted everything began to fall into place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

****  
  


The Halloween party was about to begin. There was no specific reason the agents should be nervous about anything and most weren’t. Loki had given no reason for anyone to be suspicious in fact he had acted normal since his run in with The Hawk and The Spider. He gave glares at anyone who had approached him or spoke of the incident and seemed irritated with everyone as he always did after an incident of the sort. He mentally chuckled to himself. Sometimes mortals are way too gullible he thought happily to himself.

He had changed his mind on enchanting the apples and had instead enchanted the water. Now every time someone would bob for an apple it would change their hair color to their least favorite color but not immediately no it would change during the night while they slept and the effects were irreversible and the color would stay for a week.

Loki had also managed to spike the different kinds of drinks with smuggled Asgardian Mead, and with Thor present tonight it would be easy enough to push the blame onto the big oaf who would often times take the blame for Loki’s pranks so he got in less trouble with SHIELD.

Although both these pranks would entertain him he most anticipated the arrival of The Spider and The Hawk. He knew he would get in trouble for what he was going to do to them but it would be well worth it to him. He had made sure that they would arrive to the party together and when they walked through the door they would become connected. Chained together by magic unable to be apart more than 6 ½ feet. He smirked knowing all too well the trouble he would be in for this glorious stunt. It took a lot more preparation than his average revenge would but he wanted the two of them to squirm.

He stood in a corner drinking one of the Midgardian drinks he had spiked. It didn't bother him at all he was well accustomed to Asgardian alcohol. He watched the entrance to the room with much anticipation then a grin grew across his face as the assassins walked in and the magic took hold. They didn't notice at first. The magic was discrete and they stuck near each other for the first five minutes and it wasn’t until The Spider went to go talk to someone and The Hawk ended up on his ass that they realized something was up. Loki was unable to contain a chuckle as the two assassins looked at each other with shock and confusion. They both heard him and came to a realization of what was going on at the same time. Loki quickly crossed the room to Thor knowing that Thor would prove a well enough distraction for him to slip away.

Thor noticed Loki swiftly moving towards him a grin stretching from ear to ear and groaned. nothing good ever came from Loki with a smile like that. As soon as Loki was close enough Thor grabbed him by the arm. “What did you do brother? I know that look far to well to know that you have gotten yourself into a predicament.” Thor asked lowly.

“Well i have decided to teach the assassins a lesson and they are not very pleased and nor will they be for the next few days.” Loki said quickly. Seeing that Thor was not satisfied with this answer he sighed. “I linked them together with magic and the spell will wear off in a few days. Given my restrictions i am no longer powerful enough to take the spell off.” Loki explained quickly giving Thor a pleading look.

Thor sighed. He may not agree with Loki’s actions most of the time but he was still his brother and he knew if Loki did not escape the assassins would try to kill him. Thor gave Loki a nod and Loki sighed in relief.Thor walked over to the assassins cutting off their view of Loki while he escaped. “My friends!” he bellowed in that manner that he always did in greeting any of the Avengers team. “It seems you have ran into another of my brothers pranks! He is not known as the God Of Mischief for nothing!” Thor laughed as if it was no big deal the assassins had been linked.

“Cut the crap Thor!” The Hawk exclaimed earning himself a confused look from the God of Thunder. “Where is he?” The Spider growled.

“He has excused himself. He can not remove this spell he is no longer powerful enough to do so.” Thor said flinching a bit at the female assassins tone.

Both of the assassins looked horrified at Thor’s simple statement and simply left the party unknowing that Loki stood in a dark corner of the room laughing. Thor looked back at Loki and was unable to hide a smile as happiness and hope rose in his chest for he didn’t see the Loki that had tried to take over Midgard in that moment, but he saw his brother, the young boy with a mischievous glint in his eye and a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s.

 


	2. Zap!

**Bucky wears fuzzy socks and walks all over the carpet until he has enough static to shock Steve when he touches him. Sometimes if he’s really trying to annoy Steve, he’ll use his metal arm.**

Bucky had been in Stark Tower for a year now. Most of his memories had returned throughout the year with help from Tony and Bruce. Steve was a bit helpful when they would sit down and try to incite memories but never nearly as helpful as the technology that Tony and Bruce would use on him. A lot of his old personality had returned to him and he had made it his goal to irritate everyone in the tower, especially Steve. Today was no exception.

Bucky got out of his bed a bit drowsy. Running a hand through his messy hair he sighed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants from a chair that sat in a corner and pulled on a tank top. He had not planned on going anywhere today and just wanted to relax, and by relax he meant irritating the rest of the tower.

He grabbed a pair of what were undeniably the most comfortable socks in the world, his fuzzy socks. Natasha had gifted to him at Christmas as a joke but he ended wearing them all the time. He put them on and shuffled out of his room towards the kitchen.

There was a note on the fridge from Steve informing him that he had gone out running with Sam. Bucky just sighed crumpling the note and tossing it then made himself coffee.

By the time Steve and Sam had returned Bucky was wide awake and had already scared Clint. Natasha seemed to be the only person who could approach him without him realizing it and that seemed to frustrate Clint so Clint had made it his goal to sneak up on Bucky which normally backfired. This time Clint had been spying on Bucky through the vents and had decided to come out and scare him but when he got out of the vent Bucky was no where to be seen. Clint had stood in the room in confusion wondering where he could have gone.(“I mean Bucky isn’t exactly small where the hell could he have gone?”) That was when metal fingers where rested on Clint’s shoulder and he gave a rather girl like scream. This threw Bucky into a laughing fit and Clint climbed back into the vent muttering about how it wasn’t funny.

Steve walked in and took one look at Bucky’s amused expression and sighed. “What did you do this time Bucky?” Steve sighed but couldn’t keep from smiling.

Bucky raised his hands in surrender with a laugh. “It is not my fault that Clint insists on making a fool of himself Steve. He tried to scare me again this morning and he screamed like a girl when it backfired. It was hilarious!” Bucky said shaking his head with a smile.

Steve shook his head and walked into the carpeted living room of the floor they were on picking up a book that he had left on the coffee table the night before. “Well i am going to catch up on my reading for an hour or so.” He said and he plopped down onto the couch and began reading.

Bucky began shuffling behind Steve who didn’t realize what was going on until Bucky reached over with his right arm and z _ap_ sent a static shock through Steve’s cheek.

Steve jumped in response and gave a slight groan. “Don’t you have better things to do other than shock me?” Steve asked.

“Probably do, but none are coming to mind.” Bucky said grinning holding back a laugh.

Steve sighed and went back to reading not noticing that Bucky had once again began shuffling behind him then _Zap_ another static shock went through Steve’s cheek and he gave a yelp of surprise. “Seriously Bucky knock it off.” Steve grumbled and he kept reading.

Half an hour past before Bucky began shuffling again on the carpet. He made his way over to Steve who didn’t even look up from his book gave a warning growl. “James…” His voice warranted threat, one that Bucky didn’t seem to take very seriously because this time he reached out with his left arm and _**ZAP!**_ A much stronger shock hit Steve’s cheek and he threw the book down onto the coffee table and jumped over the couch to tackle Bucky who was laughing rather hard. But in all honesty Steve wouldn’t want Bucky any other way. Having Bucky back to being the rather irritating older brother suited Steve just fine.


End file.
